4 ways to INFLUENCE others

The only way to influence is to understand they want to hear and speak accordingly.

An Influencer should know how to motivate the listeners or readers thus they listen and understand the message he wants to deliver and can act accordingly to achieve their personal or organizational goals in the future. He must know what others want to hear and should know how to change the perspective of other people according to future objectives and to achieve the required goals.

The mastery of Influencing resulting in changing the views of listeners without even letting them know that one is changing their perspective.
For being good in this one should read and act on the below-mentioned principles

1 - Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.

World-famous psychologist B.F. Skinner says that animals learn faster and quickly when they are appreciated with some reward for their behavior as compared to animals who get punished.
Thus the same applies to human beings, when they are awarded they perform more efficiently.
We should know that by criticizing people we cannot motivate them as individuals are motivated by pride and ego. So one should try to praise the effort of others whenever needed.
Do you know someone you would like to change in some way? Whenever you find yourself bound with the bad behavior of people, then try to think about their perspective.
Say to yourself, “I should forgive them for this because …” and conclude this sentence with an open mind. You’ll be in a much better position to hold back from criticizing.

2 - Give honest and sincere appreciation.

The only way to get work done from others is to give them appreciation and speak what they want to hear.

What do most people want?

Health, food, sleep, money, sex. Most of these wants are usually gratified, but there is one longing, almost as deep and ingrained as the desire for food or sleep, that is seldom gratified: the desire to be important.

We should never take anyone for granted as it gives a negative impact on other minds. One should know the difference between appreciation and flattery, which demotivates the people and gives the image of selfishness.

Flattery comes from the tongue; appreciation comes from the heart.

Day in and day out, we spend most of our time thinking about ourselves. But if we stop thinking about ourselves for a bit and start thinking about other people’s strengths, we wouldn’t have to resort to cheap flattery and we could offer honest sincere appreciation.  

We should try to appreciate another person whenever needed as appreciative will help to motivate people and also gives and positive impact on other minds. When you think about it like that - when we have nothing to lose and only positive outcomes to gain - why wouldn’t we offer genuine appreciation more often?

3 - if you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Carnegie tells a story of taking his dog to the park without a muzzle or a leash and running into a police officer who scolded him, as this was against the law. The next few times Carnegie took his dog out, he kept him on a leash, but the dog didn’t like it. So the next time, Carnegie let the dog run free. When he ran into that same police officer, he knew he would be in trouble.

Instead of waiting for the police officer to start reprimanding him, he spoke up, saying that the officer had caught him red-handed, he was guilty and had no excuses, that the officer had already warned him. The policemen responded, Carnegie that one should not overreact and should try to understand, and he should take his dog somewhere else.
If we know we’re going to be rebuked anyhow, isn’t it far better to beat the other person to it and do it ourselves?
We should try to understand the importance of feelings and should appreciate others feeling and should try to increase self-esteem.
“Everybody thinks that he is right as per his perspective but it might not be true. So we should respond accordingly by taking the above words into consideration”.
DALE CARNEGIE
Next time you find yourself in the wrong, challenge yourself to be the first to point it out. If you mess up on a work project, approach your boss about it, or bring it up next time you meet with her. By conveying that you not only acknowledge your mistakes but also that you’ve thought about how to avoid making similar mistakes down the line, you show your boss that you are responsible, honest, and diligent, and she is far more likely to dismiss the issue and continue to trust you.

4 - Begin in a friendly way.

Whenever we are angry or frustrated we should not contact the individual as our anger will give an negative impact. But what about the other person? Will our belligerent tones and hostility make it easy for them to agree with us?
If we approach the other person with our fists doubled, this will only lead the other person to double his fists twice as fast. If instead we come to him and say, “Why don’t we sit down and talk this through so we can understand why we disagree,” we’re likely to find that we’re not so far apart after all, that the points on which we differ are few and the ones on which we agree are many.
When a person feels negative about us, we can’t win him to our way of thinking with all the logic in the world. We can’t force someone to agree with us, but we can lead them in that direction if we are gentle and friendly with them.

"A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall."
ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Business executives have learned that being friendly with peers and friends will help then to have a positive impact on them and will also help them to understand their perspective.instead of suppressing their voices and acting as dominants.
When you find yourself about to scold your children, act as a domineering boss, or nag your husband or wife, try softening your approach by opening with a friendly conversation and keeping a calm tone.  
In the end, one should ask there partner that how their day went and one should also try to have a healthy conversation with there peers and friends about how there work is going.